


Unsteady

by mrs_squirrel_chester



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friends to Lovers trope, Gen, Hurt, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-11 12:29:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8979748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_squirrel_chester/pseuds/mrs_squirrel_chester
Summary: Friend to lovers trope. Imagine being friends with Bucky and always saying ‘I love you’ at the end of the phone call. One day, ‘I love you' turns into ‘I love you.’





	

Being friends with Bucky meant you had the _privilege_  of being on the receiving end of his twisted sense of humor, always getting picked on, talked about like you weren’t even there, and getting tickled until you threatened to pee all over him. It also meant having someone to stay up late and watch stupid rom-com’s with, binge on pizza and beer, and be totally comfortable walking around in a tank and underwear with.

Not that you spent much time traipsing around in your panties, especially since your feelings for Bucky had somehow catapulted over the line between friends and something more. You never said anything or acted any differently because you knew that Bucky would only ever see you as his second-best friend, the sometimes annoying girl he treated like a little sister.

And then, in the blink of an eye, everything changed.

You were lounging on the couch, watching a rerun of Friends when your phone rang; it was Bucky. Calling at the end of a mission was par for the course, his way of letting you know that everyone had survived. It always ended the same way, with him saying, “Love you, punk,” you answering, “Love you, jerk,” and both of you laughing as the call ended. But there was something very different about this call.

He choked out your name, sending a cold shiver dancing down your spine. Your heart did this weird double catch in your chest at the anguish and pain in his voice. “What’s happening, Buck?”

There was a groan in the background, the kind that’s wet and rattling and you knew from the way Bucky sniffled that it was someone from the team. “I uh… I’m not gonna make it back, kid.”

You stood on shaking legs and ran from the common room. “Don’t say that.” _Where was everyone?!_ Surely someone knew what was happening, there had to be something that could be done.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Bucky’s breathing was growing labored and wet, and you could only imagine the state he was in.

Emotion clogged your throat, thickening your voice, “For what, huh? You’re gonna be fine.” Rounding the corner, you almost smacked into Nick.

Fury rested a hand on your shoulder and squeezed before assuring you, “Bravo team is en route.”

“Hear that, old man? They’re comin’. You just gotta hold on a little longer,” you tried so goddamn hard to sound calm.

“I… I gotta te- tell you somethin’ be- before it’s… too late.”

You leaned against the wall and closed your eyes, pushing the tears down your face. “No, Bucky,” you choked out. “You tell me when you get here.”

Bucky’s chuckle was thick with blood, staining his teeth and lips. “I love you, Y/N.” It wasn’t the first time he had said those words, but there was something different in the way he said it and it had nothing to do with the rattling cough that followed. Bucky wasn’t just saying that he loved you. Bucky was admitting that his feelings for you had changed, that he **_loved_** you.

Your chin quivered and you sank to the floor. “Don’t you do this, James.”

“Le- let me hear… you say it. P- pl- please, Y/N,” Bucky begged, barely holding himself together long enough to hear you.

“I love you,” you managed to choke out before the call dropped.

With a shaking hand over your mouth, you heaved out a sob. “Bucky? Hello?” The rapid dial tone was the only answer you’d receive.

* * *

Someone rustling around in the room pulled you from the comforting darkness of unconsciousness; a place you wanted to spend eternity, where you didn’t feel so fucking empty and incomplete, where all you wanted to do was wrap yourself around his pillow and cry.

But then they spoke, “Doll, you awake?”

 _No, it couldn’t be._ “B- Bucky?” you managed to ask.

The dim orange light from the lamp by the bed flickered to life moments before he dropped to the edge of his bed. “I woke you up,” he sounded down, as if he felt bad for waking you.

You pushed up slowly, not believing your eyes. “How… how is this possible?”

His blood-streaked hands were shaking and he couldn’t stop staring at them. “I… I don’t know, doll,” Bucky’s voice was wrecked, as if he’d gargled glass.

You wanted to ask him a million and one questions, but you didn’t. Swallowing thickly, you pushed off the bed, padded into the bathroom, and turned on the shower. When it was warm enough, you made your way back and covered his hands with yours, tugging gently until he looked at you. What you saw stole the breath from your lungs.

There was dirt and blood streaked over every inch of his face and up into his hair, turning the chestnut locks into a sooty mess. His eyes were bloodshot and the steeliest grey you’d ever seen, but they weren’t cruel and merciless, they were haunted. Bucky allowed you to pull him off the bed and into the bathroom where he also allowed you to undress him. After adding your clothes to the pile, you ushered him into the shower, stepping in close behind him.

Bucky closed his eyes against the sting of water as it hit his face, bouncing off and hitting you as you reached for a washcloth. It took a while to rid him of the dried blood, but he didn’t move away from your gentle, yet probing touch. You worked hard to focus on the task at hand, but it was difficult considering the two of you were naked, in a shower, and the revelation of your feelings had been made.

It wasn’t until you cleared your throat that he met your gaze. “You uh… you want me to wash your hair?”

He didn’t answer, just turned around and tipped his head back. The angle was more than likely awkward, but you moved quickly, washing his hair twice until the water ran clear. When you squeezed his shoulder, he ran a hand over his face as he turned to face you, stormy eyes drifting over your face, a thousand and one things said in just a look.

You turned off the water and grabbed two towels, drying off before disappearing into his room to grab one of his shirts and a pair of sweats. Bucky’s hand was on your wrist and he was shaking his head. “I… I won’t try anything, just… can you… h- hold me?”

Bucky crawled into bed first, he was slow in his movements, as if he’d scare you away or something. You joined him a moment later, sucking in a breath when his vibranium hand slid over your hip and up your spine. He was thick and warm, all hard lines and edges, yet there was a softness to him that you hadn’t seen until now.

Naked and still damp from the shower, you pressed your body to his, letting out a shuddering sigh of relief. Relief that he was home, that he wasn’t dead like you feared, that… that the two of you fit together like you were each other’s missing puzzle piece.

How? How had you missed it? That… that feeling of absolute completion, like nothing else in the world made sense until now. It was as if all those cheesy love songs and poems finally made sense. It was a big ass cliche, but goddamnit, even lying in the dark with only a lamp at your back, everything seemed brighter and crystal clear.

Bucky’s fingers were in your hair, threading through the damp strands as his eyes darted over your face. “Thank you, doll.”

“For what, Buck?”

He swallowed thickly and blew out a shaking breath before answering, “For being my anchor, for holding onto me. I just feel so unsteady right now. I… I didn’t know -”

You silenced him with a kiss, slanting your mouth over his until he moaned low in his throat. With his forehead on yours, his eyes scanning yours when you asked, “Did you mean it, you know, when you said you loved me?”

“A’course I did, doll. I… I always have. This place,” he motioned around the room and you knew he meant the compound, “Steve told me to think of it like home, but I couldn’t. I was surrounded by people day in and day about, but I just felt so goddamn alone.”

Pushing up to your elbow, you furrowed your brows. “And then what?”

“Then you, sweetheart. You came in and just… you blew me away,” he breathed.

You dropped a kiss to his forehead, breathing in his freshly washed hair. Sighing, you slid down and pressed into him again, digging your fingers into the small of his back. With your cheek against his chest, you said, “If you love me, don’t let go.”

Bucky squeezed you tight, pushing the air from your lungs with a small grunt. “Never,” he promised, brushing a kiss on the top of your head before closing his eyes and allowing himself to finally feel some kind of peace.


End file.
